Clear

I have been experiencing a lot of conflicts right now. My mind, my heart, my soul. These past few weeks I feel lost. I have not been visiting the church, I have been doing ungodly stuff. I am preoccupied by the things around me. I may not be showing it to my friends and other people but I am fighting a battle. I have been in the ups and down moods these past days, and I feel uncomfortable of the situation I am into right now. I don't know myself anymore. I have lost the old me and I am trying to find a new me? Will it be the worst me or the best me? Do I really have to choose to a lot of choices and pick the best choice or I just have to go with the flow of life? I know it sounds silly that I am still having these dark days of my life at the age of 21, but does it require an age bracket?

But seriously, I am happy with my life now. I just don't know why I still have these dark days. I  know it's not permanent but it keeps on recurring. I mean, I have been through this when I was in my teenage years and I am still having it now. What is wrong with me? What is not good about what I am doing right now?

I know I am beginning to sound vague but I know everything would be vivid, if you read what I am writing deep within to understand the totality. Words are just description of what's inside of me. You have to understand deep, you have to dig the meaning word by word.

I am happy but I am sad? Am I bipolar or just a tripper?
Am I just stressed? Do I need a rest?
I am trapped and I can't get out? Am I chained?
I am watching but I am listening? Am I blind?
I know I am Vague. Unclear. Ambiguous. Indefinite.

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